Where does fear of authority figures come from? How does can it impact your life? To answer these questions we need to define and dissect the concept of authority figure. An “authority figure” is someone who has been given the power to tell you what to do and the ability and discretion to threaten and punish you in some way if you don’t do it.
An authority figure can be a parent, guardian, teacher, business owner, client or customer, boss, physician, lawyer, police officer, minister/priest/rabbi, judge, and other elected or appointed official, for example. In most instances, this individual has this power because society, some individual or group of individuals, citizens, or organization has given it to that person by virtue of the role they possess and act on.
How you relate to authority depends upon your perception of and expectations about it. As a child, you were taught to respect and obey authority to some degree. Consequently, you have buried in your brain the requirement to respond “appropriately” to this authority regarding the things you should do and the things you should not do.
The result is a lingering subconscious fear about doing something you have been told not to do. It presents itself as anxiety before and guilt after you transgress some societal norm or moral principle, law, rule, regulation, or order.
Consider for a minute how you felt as a kid in school when you were caught and publicly admonished by your teacher for doing something that didn’t meet the teacher’s expectations, such as, being late, talking in class, chewing gum, passing notes, or casually glancing at your friend’s test paper.
Chances as good you were left with a bad feeling in the pit of your stomach. That was your conscience saying “Uh-oh, shouldn’t have done that!” And then you anxiously wondered what was going to happen to you as a result.
Or consider how you feel now when you are driving and a police car suddenly appears behind you in your rearview mirror. There is likely an automatic surge of adrenaline that not only races your heart but also lifts your foot from the accelerator. “What did I do now?”
Whenever you hear yourself talking about “shoulds,” you’re talking about some norm, principle, law. regulation, rule, or order that some “authority” has dictated you need to follow … or else. “Shoulds” then tend to make you anxious and fearful because of the possibility of your consciously or unconsciously not adhering to them. Often that feeling is negatively reinforced by a bad childhood experience with these “shoulds.”