So if you’re motivated to influence how others perceive you, what sorts of things should you DO? For example,
– Make sure you know (ask if you have to) and follow the norms for the particular social setting and the role you occupy in it. Situations and roles have assigned behaviors and expectations attached. Not meeting them, like laughing at a funeral, will likely get you labeled as a “rebel” or “deviant.”
– Abide by what’s considered polite and socially appropriate in public. Scratching your crotch, sticking your finger up your nose, or belching “Jingle Bells” isn’t likely to put you on anyone’s “A” list.
– Make eye contact and smile. Assume a pleasant, positive attitude.
– Present yourself positively and confidently but with a touch of modesty to keep yourself from sounding like a braggart or show-off.
– Find ways to show your similarity to the other person because this enhances your attractiveness.
– Get people to talk about themselves and use what they say as a springboard for conversational threads.
– Don’t fabricate your self-presentation because it’s hard to recover from being caught in deceit
Remember: Your self-presentation is providing information about you to others to both help define the situation and enable them to know in advance what to expect of you. In return, they present similar information to you for the same purpose. It’s the “dance of the social animal.” You’re both trying to create and manage your individual desired impressions which hopefully will be mutually beneficial.