Coaching

Kiss Your Social Limitations in All Situations Good-Bye:
Break Through to Reinvent Yourself
With Social-Effectiveness Coaching

Ask Yourself :

  • Is social anxiety holding me back from reaching my desired work, personal, and social goals?

  • Do I feel fearful, unassertive, or inadequate to express myself?

  • Do I feel I have to meet others’ expectations of me?

  • Are my social challenges overwhelming and immobilizing me?

  • Do I wish I were more confident and competent to act the way I want to?

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Deep-Six Your Fear
Boost Your Confidence
Kiss Your Social Limitations Good-Bye
Break Through to Reinvent Yourself
Capture Your Dreams!

§ § §

If you answered “YES,” you are NOT alone!

When John, a computer programmer, came to me, he was in the dumps because of he hadn’t dated in over a year. Every time he went to his local bar to meet women, we would try to play “Mister Cool,” despite his social anxiety, and make some witty comment to get the young woman’s attention. His favorite line at the bar was, “A stone fox like you shouldn’t be drinking alone tonight. How about some company?” Invariably the young woman would give him a once over, shake her head, slide off the bar stool, and move away. He might follow her and try again with some other line, but it never worked. His immediate reaction was to get angry, consider she must be snobby or stupid—too stupid for him—and then saunter over to the next solitary woman. Down deep he felt inadequate.

It was soon getting to the point where when he entered the bar, single women who frequented the bar would suddenly have to use the restroom.  Despite his good looks, he felt unable to express himself honestly and confidently to get women’s attention, much less get them to see what a nice guy he really was. He didn’t know what the problem was. As a result, he began going to the bar less frequently, not seeing his buds, and feeling more depressed, pessimistic, and alone.

In his sessions of Social-Effectiveness Coaching with Dr. Signe he realized how phony he sounded. He also discovered he was relying on superficial comments because he didn’t know how to start small talk and was afraid to try. Moreover, he was afraid of being himself and showing that to women in particular. He recalled that his father had always said that a man needed to appear strong no matter what, never vulnerable, especially to a woman. He knew he needed to break through to reinvent himself. After working with himself to see that his father’s words were getting in the way of his speaking comfortably and confidently with women and learning how to make small talk with anyone, but especially women, he became more positive and comfortable about meeting them authentically.

Then he learned that he’d likely have more success if he went to places or attended meetings, where men and women congregated, that were about subjects in which he was interested.  In a meeting of a political group he favored he became more positive, engaged, and sharing.  He met Virginia. Being more mindful and hopeful, he allowed himself to express his thoughts and to discover they had a lot in common. They hit it off and soon began dating.

What is Holding You Back from Achieving Satisfying Goals?

Holding you back is social fear … negative unconscious thoughts, attitudes, beliefs, and feelings that you can’t or shouldn’t do something because … The “because” stems from your childhood and often results in a self-fulfilling prophecy and vicious cycle. It is almost a form of “insanity” where you keep doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. John could see it wasn’t working but blamed his fears and results on the women he approached instead of on his own approach and self-confidence.

One way that these resistances to doing what you need to do often shows up is as anxiety in social situations. For example, fear of speaking in front of others is Americans’ #1 fear. This performance anxiety is so strong that it leaves fear of death well behind it in seventh place. It is so common that humorist Mark Twain remarked, “There are two types of speakers: those that are nervous and those that are liars.” Jerry Seinfeld once quipped, “At a funeral most people would rather be in the casket than giving the eulogy.”  John recognized that he was trying to be cool because he was afraid of being negatively evaluated for being himself.

This may result from a fear of success or failure wherein you fear being in a situation you feel incapable of handling, being negatively evaluated by others, found inadequate, and being embarrassed and/or rejected. But discovering the resistance and reducing the anxiety is only half the solution.  John stopped going to the bar because he feared more failure.

What Does Confidence Have to Do With Reinventing Yourself?

Confidence is a control-related belief that you have the ability to manage particular kinds of activities, mobilize your motivation, control your cognitive and emotional reactions to it, and achieve your desired outcomes—better known as SUCCESS!

Self-confidence is an expectation of success in tasks that you undertake, from dating to looking for a job promotion. As a positive appraisal of your personal assets and resources to master and solve the social fear of speaking problem, and deal with its threats, it inspires you. It motivates you through a belief in your ability to eliminate fear, carry out your plans, reach your goals, and succeed at specific tasks or meet challenges to achieve what you want. The more John relinquished his “Mister Cool” and saw small positive results from dealing with his social anxiety the more confident he became that he could find someone to date. The more positive he became, the greater his well-being and the greater his interactional results.

Why Do You Need to Enhance Your Interpersonal Skills?

Research has shown repeatedly that the #1 cause of personal and professional success is confident, effective interpersonal skills. No matter what you do or where you do it … if you want to reach your goals, you must be able to communicate clearly and confidently with people, connect with them, to tell them what you are doing and what you want from them. In other words: being people smart. Previously, John had been able to see only one side of an interaction with a woman: his anxious side.

Being people smart means you can confidently perceive, understand, and access your emotions and those of others. It means being empathetic, mindful, and being able to put yourself in the other’s shoes. It means being able to step back from the situation to objectively see the two sides of the issue and address it rationally and empathetically.

Being people smart is highly associated with confidence and success. They work together to reduce your social anxiety and allow you to achieve your goals. As your unconscious resistance and social fears diminish, your confidence increases to accomplish your dreams, whatever they may be, as John was finally able to demonstrate.

What Can Social-Effectiveness Coaching With Dr. Signe Accomplish for You? 

I have coached for over 35 years and guided thousands of individuals in gaining insights to break through to reinvent themselves, They have become inspired, motivated, and able to overcome their internal resistances, generalized social anxiety, and low self-confidence to fulfill their lives. I can also help you:

  • Minimize your physical symptoms of distress
  • Identify and eliminate your blind spots, fearful thoughts, erroneous beliefs, and negative expectations
  • Develop new perspectives and carved-in-granite optimism and self-confidence
  • Bolster your interpersonal communication skill core strengths
  • Increase your feeling of positive intention and control over tasks and situations
  • Forge your ability to meet any challenges and overcome any obstacle
  • Create a positive success foundation you can build on.

What Does Dr. Signe, Your Social-Effectiveness Coach, Do?

As a social psychologist, experienced, knowledgeable mentor, and coach, I

  • Listen with caring and compassion
  • Aid you in articulating what you want
  • Help you explore your resistances and fears and clarify your strengths
  • Keep you focused and challenged
  • Act as a sounding board
  • Provide honest feedback, unconditional support, tools, and structure
  • Help build your confidence, competence, and people skills
  • Stretch you to explore your potential
  • Guide you in creating and fulfilling your vision
  • Celebrate your social, personal, and work success

How Does Social-Effectiveness Coaching Work?

Coaching is generally done by telephone and e-mail. You and I set up a weekly schedule. You call me at a predetermined time for each session. Together we discover your vision of what you want to accomplish and make a detailed plan for you to follow. Each week we will review how your past week has gone, what you have achieved, what it means for your plan, and  what you need to do to achieve the next step.

I will assign homework and make recommendations so that you can remain focused and on-task. The work is concentrated and intense. Each task results in a small success which significantly further builds your confidence. Each successful task leads to the next step in your confident goal achievement plan so you can finally FREE yourself to become the new you.

Research has shown that concentration and laser focus are key to positive change.

Don’t You Long to Break Through to Reinvent Yourself? Don’t You Deserve This?

With each Social-Effectiveness Coaching session comes extensive e-mail support. You also receive a complete e-mail summary of each session:
1. What was discussed
2. What progress was made that week
3. How to build on that success
4. Personalized homework assignments to keep you building step-by-step.

If You’re Ready to Remove Your Social Limitations and Break Through for a More Fulfilling Life, Then

Contact me now at mailto:DrDayhoff@EffectivenessPlus.com.

 

OVERCOME YOUR SOCIAL CHALLENGES
BY E-MAIL CONSULTING WITH DR. SIGNE

Wouldn’t It Be Great If You Could Have …

  • An expert available to answer your questions about the obstacles to your happiness, your resistances, anxiety, fear of success or failure, and what you need to increase your interpersonal communication and relationship skills?
  • An advisor to help you brainstorm ways to establish a positive mindset and implement them?
  • A mentor to provide insights and direct you to finding relevant anxiety resources to help achieve your goal?

There are times when you could use some information, exploratory prompting, guidance, or mentoring but you don’t need the long-term coaching. It’s at these times you could benefit from personal e-mail consulting from Dr. Signe. It’s like having your OWN on-call professional.

Getting this personal interpersonal communication assistance has never been easier.  Any time you want a little help all you have to do is decide what specifically you want help with.

Dr. Signe’s E-Mail Consulting is a confidence-building, solution-finding, personal development approach to your goal achievement. In fact, any individuals desiring to increase their personal, social, or work effectiveness, to feel more confident, competent, purposeful, and satisfied with any aspect of their lives, can gain numerous advantages from having it.

How Does This Differ From Dr. Signe’s Social-Effectiveness Coaching?

While Social-Effectiveness Coaching may be of several months’ duration, E-mail Consulting is short-term. It is focused on one specific achievement area, issue, question, problem, roadblock, or desired result per e-mail.

Why Choose Dr. Signe as Your Coach or E-Mail Consultant? 

As your goal-achievement coach or mentor, I have what you need:

  • Expertise, 35-years’ experience and caring
  • Personalized attention
  • Customized individual program
  • Productive feedback
  • Convenience
  • Results

F-R-E-E YOURSELF FROM YOUR SOCIAL LIMITATIONS NOW.
REINVENT YOURSELF WITH CONFIDENCE AND SOCIAL SKILLS.
MEET YOUR CHALLENGES TO ACHIEVE YOUR GOALS! 

Join the thousands of others who have gained insights; discovered their resistances; alleviated their social fears; discovered how to plan to create their desired change; developed their interpersonal savvy and confidence; optimized their communication and relationships in work settings; and created a more engaged and satisfying life for themselves.

ALL information is held in the strictest confidence.

If You Want Coaching or Your Questions Answered,

Contact me NOW at mailto:DrDayhoff@EffectivenessPlus.com .

HOWEVER,

if you want to learn how to positively alleviate only your speaking and small talk fear and would prefer not to work one-on-one with a Social-Effectiveness coach just yet, you can take my How to Speak Without Fear Small Talk Course  which is a comprehensive, 196-page home-study course now on Kindle. You can take the re-invention course in the privacy of your own home and work at your own pace, The choice is yours.